I often wonder what my sleep schedule will be when I retire. My life now has so many different schedule and time demands. When I go to sleep, how long I will sleep and when I get up is not always in my control. So when my work demands end, anywhere from 11-18 years from now, I wonder when I will go to bed or get up.
Lately, I have been waking up a lot in the night. Odd hours like 3: 30 a.m. 4:11 a.m. and 5:07 a.m. I am not sure why. Male menopause? Stress? I don’t know. This morning I woke at 4:11. Wide awake. I laid in bed and considered what was so important I had to wake up then. Should I get up or try to force myself back to sleep? I thought of young Samuel and how the voice of God kept waking him up in the predawn. I asked God to speak to me if it was his desire. Were the thoughts in my head from God or from me?
I do not know. Perhaps I will find out in the days ahead as those thoughts are placed into action. Maybe God will speak to me more clearly tomorrow or maybe not at all. All I know is I am up and when I quit trying to figure it all out, I become aware how still and quiet everything is now. No one is around and it quiet enough to hear a pin drop, or maybe even for God to whisper. I am not sure why you got me up God again today this early, but thanks for this moment of peace. For now, it is gift enough.
Hmmm - I too wake up every night, or should I say every morning. More then once a morning. A thousand things race through my head. Family, work, selfish problems! Instead of talking to myself all the time, maybe I need to listen!
ReplyDeleteJeff Smolek